Some People Poke at it With a Spoon

It has been my lifelong dream to retire and learn how to make my own vinegar.  Just kidding, I never even heard of making vinegar until I moved down here and got told by a nutritionist to start drinking a weak vinegar solution every day with my main meal.  Of course, she wanted me to go with organic apple cider vinegar that includes the mother. "Braggs if you can get it"  "Really, I would prefer if you made your own."  OK, I'll take the challenge.

I brought two cookbooks down here with me with the idea I would cook my way through them in all that spare time one imagines retired people to have.  One is Elyse's favorite:

I visualized myself cooking saucy and sensational Indian food with the huge variety of cheap produce we have available to us.  Besides, seeing a book described as "the gateway" just cracks me up.
The other cookbook I brought is the iconic:

Diana Kennedy says that homemade pineapple vinegar is a staple in all Mexican kitchens.  Pineapple vinegar is very google-able.  At our house, we consume a pineapple at least twice a month.  Ev was willing to play. The challenge response is beginning to come together.  This is him on my birthday following my strict instructions with a good attitude.  We filled a jar with washed pineapple skin and core, added some honey water and a glug of Braggs apple cider vinegar.

I put the ring on the jar with a paper towel in the center rather than the lid.  Instructions vary: in the dark, in a sunny window, sealed, open to air, stir daily, shake weekly, don't touch for three weeks.  In the end, vinegar is going to do what vinegar does.  Four weeks later, voila!

You can see on the top that a thick, white rubbery substance has formed called the mother.  It's made of cellulose and acetic acid bacteria.  It's similar to Kombucha SCOBY.  Some people revere it: make jerky out of it, use it for face masks, put it in a smoothie, dry it for toy drum skins.  Some people, like me, poke at it with a spoon.  If you save a chunk of it and put it in your next batch of vinegar, the fermentation goes much quicker than 4 weeks.  I was surprised to find the pineapple chunks weren't slimy and gross when I pulled them out, instead they were rubbery.

I strained the liquid and then attempted to run it through a coffee filter.  That was a bust.  Ev grilled chicken I'd marinated in the new vinegar, olive oil, chipotle, honey and garlic.  It was tender and flavorful.  We had it with kale and lentils out of the Curry cookbook.  Might be one of the best meals in recent history at the hacienda.

Raw unfiltered vinegar is said to lower blood sugar and insulin, help with weight loss and acne, energize you and kill your cancer.  Some claims are actually supported by good research. My modest and poorly done research indicates there is no Mexican family on my block with homemade pineapple vinegar in their pantry.  I may have to start selling it in little jars on my front stoop.

We had some uninvited "guests".

A couple of weekends ago, we woke up to discover someone came on to our property in the night and stole some tools out of our bodega.  Our four prong response plan was to 1) start locking the dang oubuilding doors 2) get motion detector lights 3)get a guard dog 4) pour concrete aprons under the gates

In addition, there have been many minor changes:  I am no longer allowed to do the queen wave as we go through town as it interferes with Evdad's glower.  We don't leave the house, even to scurry down for a fish taco on the plaza, without locking it all down.  We no longer can let the neighborhood boys in to find their own soccer balls and marbles.  We padlock the front gate.  We each have a heavy wad of keys in our pockets at all times.  I have to pay attention to where my purse is in the house and whether or not I've locked the car.  It all amounts to a big PITA.

The police response was underwhelming.  They sent a couple of twelve year olds dressed in black body armor.  I caught them whacking each other in the stomach with their assault rifles as they walked up the driveway.  I asked them if they weren't going to take a report.  One jogged down to the truck and got a spiral notebook left over from the third grade and took copious notes: my name and age.

We went to town and filed a formal "denuncia" with the state but nothing has happened. I had full blown crying break down in the office of the President of Ixtlahuacan's  but nothing has happened. So from this, I think we can conclude, nothing is going to happen.

I feel bad for Evdad, it was mostly his motorcycle tools that were stolen.  He has had some of those tools for 40 years or longer.  Every time he goes to get a socket or tire pressure gage and can't find it, we get re-traumatized all over again.

We got gutters made for the house and the boys are taking up the interior patio to get it repaired before the rainy season starts.

Life goes on.  I'm married to a hoss.